Raising boys vs Raising girls
The other night I was reading this fairy tale to my 6 year old daughter where a princess is captured and kept in a high tower for many years. In the end the prince charming comes and rescues her and they live happily ever after. In the end my little one asked,” why did the princess kept waiting for so long ?? Why didn’t she try to run away?? Why did she need the help of the prince??
I was shocked and I actually did not have an answer to her questions. She was absolutely right!! And I wondered why do tell all these stupid tales to our girls where the Prince Charming comes to their rescue whenever they are stuck in life... The next morning I took all the fairy tales away from her bookshelf and stocked some new inspirational ones. This incident raised a lot of questions in my mind.
Today we raise our children in a very different manner than in which we were raised. Today we don’t differentiate between girls n boys. Both are given equal education. Both are treated equally. Both are given equal opportunities to excel in life. And as a result our girls today are doing a really good job by making their mark in all the fields. Then why still there are problems in society?? Why there are clashes?? When both are equally educated then why so many cases of divorces , dowry, harassment... etc etc.
Does it has something to do with our parenting?? Are we lacking somewhere? Because family is the first school. Children learn everything from their parents and other family members.
Yes it has. Sad but true. We as parents are forgetting some basic realities that we have to pass on to our kids. Today we raise our daughters with great pride n honour. They are the apples of our eye . We raise them, nurture them and support them to follow their dreams. Being a mother of two adorable girls I also do all these above stated things. Even after being so educated we are still living with one crucial stereotype which finally needs to be broken. We want our daughters to conquer the world but we want our daughter in law to look after the household. Now is the time to change ourselves and let our daughter in law also be free like we want our daughters to be. We do support them professionally , we accept working daughter in law but then why do we expect them to come home and look after everything. Do we expect our boys to come home from their work and cook or wash or clean. NO!! Then why daughter in law is expected to do all these things?? Why does only she need to balance work and home and not our boys?? It’s high time we change our perspectives, break the stereotype and actually treat our boys and girls equally, not just in saying but in doing as well.
And now for our boys. Boys see and observe what happens around them in the family from a very young age. They observe how their mom and dad behave as husband and wife. And they expect their future brides to be like that. They expect her to be obedient like their moms. They expect her to cook like their moms, to manage household like her. I know you might think that “ aaj kal aisa nahi hota” but trust me even today “ aisa hi hota hai “ . So what did we forget to tell our boys? Boys need to be taught from a very early age to respect women. It starts from the family itself. He has to respect his mother, his sister. Then only will he respect girls outside. Fatheirs should not talk inappropriately about girls in front of their sons. Because they take the same impression. Boys need to be taught that like they can do whatever they want, girls can also do the same. Like them girls can also wear what they want. Like them girls can also choose their friends etc etc.. Girls are also human beings and they can choose the lifestyle they want for themselves. And boys have to respect their individuality. Now when they are growing up and thinking of jobs and earnings , they need to be told that,” Son, Tomorrow when you get married, your wife will also be working. Respect her job like yours. Share all the responsibilities with her. She is an equal human being. She would also be tired after a long day, so don’t expect her to do everything alone just because she’s a female and that she’s expected to do so. You are not supposed to rule her life and don’t expect her to obey to all what you say. She has a mind of her own and let her speak her mind.” As I mentioned earlier if boys would see while growing up that their mom and dad are equal in every sense— in earning, in managing home etc then they would grow up with that impression and would not mind sharing responsibilities with wives. But
If they haven’t seen their dads sharing responsibilities with their moms then tomorrow how would they do it??
If these things are kept in check while our kids are still growing up then there would be no problems when they finally become adults. They would respect each other’s individuality and there would be no clashes. I know what I’m saying is good to hear but very difficult to put in practice. Lot of us are still living in a joint family set up where our elders would not be ready to accept such changes like teaching our boys to cook, to clean , to wash etc. But for the sake of our kids we need to take some steps and also change our mindset for our kids.
So I hope that after reading this , my friends, we would teach our girls to be all rounders and support our daughter in law to be all rounder as well as teach our boys to respect women.
I was shocked and I actually did not have an answer to her questions. She was absolutely right!! And I wondered why do tell all these stupid tales to our girls where the Prince Charming comes to their rescue whenever they are stuck in life... The next morning I took all the fairy tales away from her bookshelf and stocked some new inspirational ones. This incident raised a lot of questions in my mind.
Today we raise our children in a very different manner than in which we were raised. Today we don’t differentiate between girls n boys. Both are given equal education. Both are treated equally. Both are given equal opportunities to excel in life. And as a result our girls today are doing a really good job by making their mark in all the fields. Then why still there are problems in society?? Why there are clashes?? When both are equally educated then why so many cases of divorces , dowry, harassment... etc etc.
Does it has something to do with our parenting?? Are we lacking somewhere? Because family is the first school. Children learn everything from their parents and other family members.
Yes it has. Sad but true. We as parents are forgetting some basic realities that we have to pass on to our kids. Today we raise our daughters with great pride n honour. They are the apples of our eye . We raise them, nurture them and support them to follow their dreams. Being a mother of two adorable girls I also do all these above stated things. Even after being so educated we are still living with one crucial stereotype which finally needs to be broken. We want our daughters to conquer the world but we want our daughter in law to look after the household. Now is the time to change ourselves and let our daughter in law also be free like we want our daughters to be. We do support them professionally , we accept working daughter in law but then why do we expect them to come home and look after everything. Do we expect our boys to come home from their work and cook or wash or clean. NO!! Then why daughter in law is expected to do all these things?? Why does only she need to balance work and home and not our boys?? It’s high time we change our perspectives, break the stereotype and actually treat our boys and girls equally, not just in saying but in doing as well.
And now for our boys. Boys see and observe what happens around them in the family from a very young age. They observe how their mom and dad behave as husband and wife. And they expect their future brides to be like that. They expect her to be obedient like their moms. They expect her to cook like their moms, to manage household like her. I know you might think that “ aaj kal aisa nahi hota” but trust me even today “ aisa hi hota hai “ . So what did we forget to tell our boys? Boys need to be taught from a very early age to respect women. It starts from the family itself. He has to respect his mother, his sister. Then only will he respect girls outside. Fatheirs should not talk inappropriately about girls in front of their sons. Because they take the same impression. Boys need to be taught that like they can do whatever they want, girls can also do the same. Like them girls can also wear what they want. Like them girls can also choose their friends etc etc.. Girls are also human beings and they can choose the lifestyle they want for themselves. And boys have to respect their individuality. Now when they are growing up and thinking of jobs and earnings , they need to be told that,” Son, Tomorrow when you get married, your wife will also be working. Respect her job like yours. Share all the responsibilities with her. She is an equal human being. She would also be tired after a long day, so don’t expect her to do everything alone just because she’s a female and that she’s expected to do so. You are not supposed to rule her life and don’t expect her to obey to all what you say. She has a mind of her own and let her speak her mind.” As I mentioned earlier if boys would see while growing up that their mom and dad are equal in every sense— in earning, in managing home etc then they would grow up with that impression and would not mind sharing responsibilities with wives. But
If they haven’t seen their dads sharing responsibilities with their moms then tomorrow how would they do it??
If these things are kept in check while our kids are still growing up then there would be no problems when they finally become adults. They would respect each other’s individuality and there would be no clashes. I know what I’m saying is good to hear but very difficult to put in practice. Lot of us are still living in a joint family set up where our elders would not be ready to accept such changes like teaching our boys to cook, to clean , to wash etc. But for the sake of our kids we need to take some steps and also change our mindset for our kids.
So I hope that after reading this , my friends, we would teach our girls to be all rounders and support our daughter in law to be all rounder as well as teach our boys to respect women.
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